Friday, June 27, 2008

Home



So I am tempted to give you a nice long post with all the newest and greatest, but I learned in my recent stint away that I should break em down and keep you the two readers I have interested and not overwhelmed. So you will get four or five posts in the next two days, YIPPEE!
So here I am home again. How wonderful to see the Little M. and Trixie again. I pulled into my driveway after the three months away and the 10 hour drive home. I had to park 9 feet up from the end of the driveway because that's where the plow was blocking the driveway. When I pulled away in late March that's how much of the driveway the Snow mountain had overtaken.

Anyway I pulled into the driveway and the first thing I saw waiting for me in her stroller was the very big baby M. The effect was a little startling. I had just seen her in person not three weeks ago, but here was a very big and attentive smiling baby. Well everything was wonderful that night there was giggling and smiles, cuddling, and playing. All things in the world were good again and I had the happiest baby in the world. So, everybody is happy and off to bed. I, thanks to Trixie slept like a man who has slept in a tiny little bunk bed for three months and is just meeting a king sized bed for the first time.
Then there was morning... "wait you were up every hour after midnight?"

"Who's demon child is this and what do you mean your going to work?!?!"

Then began our day together. It was nice she didn't want to be put down but it would be nice to have a free hand. Finally about noon when the green snot faucet was working and the feeding was not, Trixie mandated I bring the little M. to the Dr's office.
Dr said she's fine..... Yeah she sure is. So daddy's out of practice forgot the little thing called a diaper bag. Who wants to get changed have a snack and a toy to play with? Daddy does at the very least. So yeah she's fine.
Well nobody died that day but people were tested perhaps some feelings got hurt, who can say. What I can say is that two little teeth down there on her little gums were suddenly where they were not. And suddenly after two days our baby returned.
Even with all that said I am happy to be home. I am happy to have traded my big green duffel bag back in for a Baby Bjorne (yup spelled it wrong on purpose)

So what I want to close with is this. We are dealers in words and I use them as well as the next guy. We typically know what to say to people to make them feel better to hurt them and yes, to sometimes manipulate them. So sometimes the words seem not enough, so I can't help but not want to use them. In particular when it comes to Trixie and how she dealt with my absence and how she cared for protected and provided for my one and only child. She had help to be sure, which she also had to organize and task. I hope there is a way for me to make her know how important it all really is to me.

It's a shifting of weight. She has the baby squarely on her shoulders like Atlas had the world. I am standing here nudging my way in and for the most part she is giving me my fair share, but I can feel her not wanting to let go. Not all together ready to share the full load. And I so get that, I love it, it's how it should be. So I will stand close and take my shared share and just keep being there.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome home!!

general125 said...

I would like to see a photo of you and your baby borjne. Do you wear the one on your belly or on your back?