Wind in your hair

I am not tired daddy, really., originally uploaded by petriemax.

We're helmet free. The appointment is officially tomorrow, but based on our own opinion and by looking at her head we made an executive parental decision We are pleased with the results and are happy to allow her to be a non-helmet wearing child.

She is right on the verge of walking, I mean right there. It looks like she wants to. Struts around with her little car all day and has no trouble walking while holding on to mommy or daddies hand. My guess is that we are days away from her branching out on her own. Trixie thinks she will be able to see better without the helmet. Her peripheral vision won't be blocked and she will feel more comfortable.

The Little M is currently clear of the ear infection, helmet free and cold free. I am enjoying the moment before the next thing. I assume there will always be the next thing. Be it tubes for her ears or boys and fast cars.

She went trick or treating for the first time, she put the helmet to good use and went as a football player --Pictures soon. I have to get them from others because I am still no good at managing her and a camera by myself. I am getting closer though. She was in true form very cute and fell asleep in my arms during the treating process. The long walk down the street must have worn her out.

What challenges will walking bring. Stay tuned.

Seasons

It's been a month since our last contribution and I apologize for the silence. The past month has seen some joyful times and unfortunately some very very sad times as well.

When last we met the Little M. was gearing up for a trip to the left coast to see her Aunt Cali, finally get married off. The trip was not without it's pitfalls. 3 hour delay in Newarc, time changes for someone who doesn't know what time is and of course close quarters combat in a plane with an 11 month old.

All that aside however the trip was a success and we were happy to be with family and celebrate my sister and new brother in-laws nuptials. We wish them much love.

The little M. enjoyed the wedding so much in fact that she fell asleep on the dance floor to AC/DCEE and was mystified by the string quartet. Who knew?

Now she is one. On Oct. 16 she made the big leap out of fractions and into whole numbers. She is not as I imagined ready to rake leaves yet, though she does try to eat them.

Her one tooth that poked through without a whimper was followed immediately by three more that did more than whimper. Oh the poor little m. She is taking her lumps early.

She gets her helmet off in a week which is wonderful but due to her newest double ear infection, she needs to have tubes put into her ears. Surgery for such a little creature. My hope is that we are getting all the colds, infections deformities etc. out of the way and she will come through stronger in the long run. Alas, what else can you hope for?

She still remains impossible cute and a continued joy in our lives. More on the continued saga of the Littlest M. soon.

.

Grandpa...

Martin Francis Laughlin 1948-2008

The Helmet and the less Flat

As most of you may know and can see from the pictures all through our little blog here, the Little M. wears a helmet. Not for her protection, although it does help, but for a condition that she has called Plagiocephaly. That means she has a flat head!

See The Helmet and the flat

Well, she had an appointment with the flat head specialist today and IT'S WORKING!!!! She had a three millimeter correction from her last visit! Now I know that doesn't sound like a lot but it's clear to us and the guy who gets paid for his opinion that things are looking much better. He recommends one more month which will make a total of four months as opposed to the three we had hoped for. One more months' not so bad and I will be very happy to see that thing go.

But I have my fears...

First is the protection issue, that girl is afraid of nothing! The thing really helps against the plops and tumbles and face plants. The hope is that in another month she will be a little more stable on the earth. Probably not.

Now here is the craziest thing; We take the helmet off for about an hour every night and wash it and bath her right before bed. The other night we are playing in her room and I hand her the helmet and she looks at me, back at the helmet and then tries to put it on.

I am not sure why this simple act moves me so much, and I mean I am moved. Dumbfounded again by the Little m. Is it because this is the first act of her doing something effectively for herself? Is it her trying to do something she thinks I want her too? Or has she just become so attached to that dammed thing that she wanted it back on?

Perhaps I read too much into things, I think differently because she's our baby...?

When people hear your expecting a lot will say "Oh having a baby changes everything!" My initial reaction is "Duh I am not an idiot of course it changes everything. Geeez" Of course I just smile and thank them. The kicker friends is this...

Having a baby changes everything.

Puppy Love

Oh the adventure continues and the good days are outnumbering the difficult ones. Even though I literally have to pin the Little M. down to change her diaper and the most fascinating things in the entire house are the electrical outlets and the oh so clean dog bed. Not to mention our 130 pound grumpy old woman --No not Trixie, but Melle! It would seem as though Melle only mildly tolerates the newest edition to her bed. Despite the numerous attempts by the little m. to make her presence known said beast has yet to offer up her slobberly affection. Only time will tell and neither of them are lacking in persistence!

Add two top teeth with out a fuss, grump or cry!

Add grilled cheese, mak n cheese, gram crackers and wood chips. Yes, wood chips her favorite snack while playing at the local school s jungle gym. Lets just hope their rich in fiber.

Add that she is on the very brink of standing on her own and quite possible unleashing her little fat baby legs on dogs everywhere. It's amazing to see the transformation and the leaps she is taking toward becoming.

I won't say she spoke her first word but I will say she is starting to imitate sounds. When she falls which she does quite frequently I usually say "PLOP!" Well she fell and I said "plop" she looked at me and said "blop" and then scampered away saying "blopablopablopablop," leaving daddy not knowing whether to laugh, cry or both! Who could have guessed that an onomatopoeia could make a grown man weak in the knees.

We have our first big family trip planned for next week, out to cali for my big sister cali's wedding. I have no idea how we are going to manage the flight out there and then the time change for a week. We will find a way, it's what we do. Find a way.

Forgive my rant...

I have seen a lot of conflict in my life, sometimes very violent and life changing. So, I tend to avoid it until it is absolutely necessary, frankly I often adopt a "go along to get along" mentality to steer clear of said conflict. This blog in and of itself has a sole purpose of being a baby blog and not a forum for me to discuss politics, war and pop culture.

That being said I intend to break some of those rules in this entry.

America is broken and I am afraid. My heart hurts for my daughter and the men and woman who have fallen for our stars and stripes. OUR stars and stripes.

We The People.

We need change and we need a plan and we need to execute that plan. We need to hold ourselves accountable as well as our leaders. This is not a popularity contest or a talent show it's a hail Mary pass hoping the guy that catches the ball can lead us out of the darkness and into the open. For God's sake vote, vote with your heart and your mind.

Because my daughter deserves the America that I love.

I have seen America from the wreckage of the World Trade center, America hung its colors from their windows and doors and on their front lawn. They sang from their steps and they believed. We need to stop blaming and start believing.

Great fine it's all Bush's fault. He caused terrorism and bank greed, he caused the medias frenzied parasitic sensationalism, he may have even killed Nicole Simpson.... fine but now what.....

I can't turn on the television without hearing the same story three different ways the government may be lying to us but so are our televisions. So are our candidates.

Look I don't have an answer, my heart says McKayne but my head says Ohbahmah. I have this.... Vote Vote vote vote. Because We are the people, it's our flag it's our country and we have to hand it to my daughter.

We made this...

Dial-Up drama, please stay tuned for an update, for now here she is! -- In case you forgot how cute she is without the helmet.

Baby Bomber

I often wonder what to blog about. What do our readers want to hear about? I see the Little M. on a regular basis and am amazed every day at all the little things she does. Like how her slow crawl has turned into a good scramble or even how she LOVES her yogurt. So I wait for a major milestone or something that inspires me to write.

Two thing lately have been tumbling around in my head. One is her new found bruteness. I mean she is a thug, a brute. Tales are surfacing of her heavy hand at daycare when there is a toy or item that strikes her fancy. Just yesterday her twin cousin came to town, Avery. Please see Twin Cousins for more info on adorable little Avery. Well, Avery came to visit our home with Sheila's brother and sister-in-law and started right in playing with Mia's toys. It didn't matter if it was a toy Mia never ever cares about, she would shuffle on over and make her toy dominance known. Even in close proximity to each other the Little M. had no issues with throwing a hip or grabbing Avery by the back of the shirt for a good natured tug to the ground.

Now, I would never ever let Mia think it's OK to be a bully. Nobody likes a bully and I am sure we all have one tale or many of someone who has done us wrong at one point in our lives. That being said I can' help but smile and silently chuckle at our little beast. She has the advantage not in size but with the helmet. She is free to throw right hooks and hay makers all day with her face and head protected from a counter attack. Why even her helmet echo's the statement "float like a butterfly" Lets hope she doesn't "Sting like a bee." What to do though? Again me completely ignorant on how to stop this behavior and promote peace love and all that hippie hand holding. No I don't want a bully but teehee for standing your ground and going for what you want.

Second of the things in my head is this; I see me reflected in her. What a cool thing that is. As an adopted kid I had limited exposure to people that looked like me and their qualities that may or may not have mirrored my own. I feel for Trixie and even a little for Mia because she bares the closest resemblance to me at this point. I am sure in time this will change, and we will have equal representation. for now though I am often moved at creation and this thing that continues to develop as a product of us. To be as cheesy as possible -- a miracle.

Lastly as an update to her flat head. (The Helmet and The flat) The specialist says there has been no change in the month in a half with her helmet on. We and others who see her disagree and can see some rounding. The specialist cored out some of the helmet around the flat to help promote more rounding, but it looks like we may have a couple more months of the cranial band. More hay makers so keep your guard up!

Figuring you out

This picture is similar to another recent one, but I am posting it because of the look she is giving the camera. She is not only noticing things but now she seems to be figuring them out. Or at least trying too.

She definitely has begun to understand that for most of her actions there is an obvious reaction. She hits a toy it makes a noise, she pulls the drawer it opens and of course if she cries we come running. I was thinking about this the other day when I realized I had no idea what I am doing, I mean none. There I said it.

I mean really, are we loving her too much or not enough? Should she play alone or should we be there? Should she eat that? Is she getting enough sleep, is that necessary should we do that? My answer to all these questions and more is -- Duh....

This morning I was driving to work listening to Guyns nd Rosis singing Nitetrain at a volume that is assuredly not helping the ringing in my ears and I am thinking "Wow, I still really love this band, I should play it for the Little M." Even that has me thinking wow that's good parenting play 80's hair metal for a 10 month old baby, the heck with Showpan or Baytoven.

Alas, I imagine most parents go through this ordeal. We haven't broken her yet, dented a little see The Helmet and the flat, but she is still in there, figuring out all that she sees in her little portion of the world. We will just keep showing it to her -- Axil Rows and all.

The terror from the crib

They say that adversity builds character, that challenges in life make you stronger. Well after these past two weeks we are going to have one strong in character little girl! As you all know things started off with the flat head and her awesome crash helmet, which by the way I recommend to everyone now for the safety factor -- face plant away lil one! There was of course the angry emergence of her little bottom teeth. Then we had a little incident with a bug bite that turned into a spreading rash, lotion antibiotics fixed her up but that led us into her stomach bug.

It's Friday night and I am living the weekend dream, put the baby to bed and sat down to watch "The Fog" (I love scary movies esp. corny ones) and I hear a little cough from the baby monitor. Huh, I think she just went to sleep about 10 minutes ago she is probably fine I won't be that dad, I will just sit here and watch my movie. OK, so I am that dad and off I go at the slightest little sound --Don't tell Trixie!

I walk into the little M's room to see her sitting up in her crib starring at me as I enter the room. OK, so I was watching a scary movie and that freaked me out a little, as this is the first time I have seen her sit herself up on her own and secondly because she is motionless and silent. OK first red flag.

So I walk over and remind her that it is bedtime and it's much easier to sleep when you are lying down, she is a baby she may have forgotten. I reach in the darkened crib to find her binky only to find a fair amount of moisture. Red flag.
So on come the lights and wouldn't you know, Lynda Blare had come to visit and Pea Souped it everywhere! Crib, rails, helmet in the Velcrow of the helmet, blankey, binkey, sheets, lions tigers bears oh my! Oh Trixie where for art thou?

Well after much clean up and from both ends, her ends that is, and a week of bad baby blues we wondered if she would ever get better. She did not, her demeanor was going down hill and she was not the care free love bug we have grown to adore.

Back to Dr. Rockstar. Dr. Roockstar says baby has ear infection! What's next the plague! Oy Vay! Well, good friends we have her on the mend and her smiles are outweighing her frowns.

So, I am not really sure who the adversity affected Trixie, day care or myself but she is still one cute little cookie despite acting like a zombie who hasn't gotten a good supply of brain in some time. Ah parenting who knew it would be so fun. Still if I wasn't me I'd want to be me!

Mia Crawls

Well we have a lot to talk about all of the sudden.

As the title implies the little M. has indeed crawled, much like life with a whimper not a bang. Two sightings of a modified Army high crawl, this is exciting stuff, I equate it to being 13 and getting your parents car alone for the first time. Places to go people to see and crashes to have. We have been a bit off with the photography and getting them online but rest assured dear readers we have some very adorable pictures of the little M. doing all types of things.

Speaking of new things, the helmet and the flat have added a new dimension to our lives. The upkeep and maintenance is minimal and she seems to be enjoying her new purple and pink butterfly illustrated new hat. She is so adorable in it and to be honest I rest a little better knowing that she has a hard hat protecting her head from the constant flopping on the floor that she does. Every kid should have one.

At the end of the night she gets to take it off for an hour while we clean it and her. The first thing that we do is rub her head with both hands and she instantly looks like a baby on heroine. Her eyes roll back her body goes limp and she literally looks stoned. Like a dog who is getting his belly rubbed, it looks like bliss. I promise a picture of that next as well.

No posts last week as I was away again. I know, I know "You went away again?!!?" How could I? Yeah yeah she is a saint I know. Well, I went to be a counselor at the CT. children's burn camp. This camp is for any burn victim from the age of 8-17, and there were 70 of them who attended the camp. All I will say to those naysayers is this; In order to be the kind of role model that my daughter deserves, we need to continue to embrace the things that are important to us, the things that define us and what will ultimately help mold our daughter into the kind of person that we all hope she will become.

Look for pics in the next couple of days.

Irony and Parenting

A friend of mine writes a very good semi-political blog that makes my little baby blog feel well babyish. Check him out at Borrowed Suits. His "domestic partner" and I were talking recently. Her name is Jayme and she complimented Trixie and I. She said she thought that it was nice that we didn't lose our identity as individuals when we became parents. She and I decided that that happens far too often in both parenting and marriage or relationships.

People tend to lose their identity to mold to the new relationship. That seems to go to the root of my dilemma with raising a child in today's society. We live in a world where every kid is so super special and everyone gets an award and no one keeps score and everything little Joey or Jane does is wonderful. Their whole childhood everyone is telling them how special and wonderful they are, and they are led to believe that they are "kind of a big deal."


Now, I don't think that we need to be mean to our children but I feel like we are doing a severe injustice to them. It's too easy to become arrogant and narcissistic with whole lives devoted to making kids feel special. Our lives have natural changed and we have adjusted to Mia's needs and will continue to do so, and of course I want her to feel special. Where does it end? I also want her to know what it takes to be dedicated to something, to being good at something, to be modest and sincere and humble -- to a certain extent.

Another friend of mine says she stumbles through parenting, she doesn't think anyone really knows what to do. She hopes that if she gives enough love then when her child is older she will know where to go to get affection.

I guess the comment about identity struck me so soundly because it's so true in life and just the opposite of what is needed. We are three separate people and should not be defined by each other only augmented, perhaps bettered.

Let me lastly point out the irony and my own hypocrisy. The blog by nature has a pretentious assumption that people are dying to know your opinion. And this blog is solely dedicated to tell all those interested parties how special and wonderful the Little M. is.

Right with the Lord

We scheduled Mia's Baptism for the first Sunday I was home. That passed about a week ago and the event went swimmingly.

Our good friends the Duffs, and their lovely daughter Annabelle were in town for the weekend as well. They had their daughter baptized on Saturday and asked me to be the Godfather. An honor I take on with great happiness and excitement.

Daddy Duff and I have been friends since roughly the 4Th grade, well perhaps not friends till a little later in the Boy Scouts, but you get my drift. He is my oldest and closest friend. He introduced me to my wife and more or less dared me into the Army. Two of the biggest undertakings in my adult life. I was the best man at his wedding and floundered the speech. I know it's suppose to be my thing but I got a little overwhelmed. He was the best man at my wedding and hit the speech out of the ballpark. I mean wow it was a good speech. He and I have daughters that look just like us and they are 7 weeks apart. (See the Annabelle entry for more info.) So, it's only right that he should be the Godfather of the little M. Now they are Godsisters! I know he will be a great choice.

So both events were quick and to the point; holy water, blessings and an abundance of pictures.

Mia actually seemed to be having a good time as the center of attention and in the holy bath. It's good for her considering I am getting her enrolled in the nearest nunnery just as soon as she old enough! Just kidding--Maybe.

As I was busy being the Godfather and Daddy I was negligent in my picture taking. I think Grandpa got some, so as soon as I can gather them up I will post the good ones.

Last two points:

1. Baptising my daughter means that the catholic church is going to be a baseline for our daughters spirituality. However she finds her way to God and her own inner voice is mostly in her hands. We will continue to show her a path with church, C.C.D or Sunday school, but in large her relationship with God will be a personal choice.

2. Annabelle on the other hand is my God daughter and I will take a more formal approach. I think that Daddy Duff and I have similar views on most things and I will line up however he needs me to in order to help his daughter grow and develop into the church.

Amen

A letter to Mia.

So what is to follow is going to be a letter to the little M. Now, I had a little trouble trying to figure out if I should address her now as she is, all cute and basking in her babiness or if I should address her as someone who would actually read and comprehend a letter from her father. I haven't mentioned but we would like to collect all the posts from the first year and send them off to a company that makes blogs into books. So considering we wouldn't give her the book untill she is a teen. It solves my problem I will address her as such.

Dear Mia,

I wanted to write you a letter about the here and now. I often wonder about my own years as a baby. My life is a young child was not typical and there were a lot of challenges for me. I spent a lot of time moving around. Eight different foster families in fact. That includes different schools different friends and different personalities.

What I hope for you is something very different. I need you to know how happy our world is now that you are here. In a very real sense you fill an empty space that I have always tried to fill. Your that missing thing in our lives. So far we have stumbled our way through the first eight months of your life. We guess a little about what to do. We argue a little and meet somewhere in the middle of what we both believe to be right, but we are never without an abundance of love for you.

We love you very much.

Your a very happy baby, and beautiful. You have big giant eyes that already melt the hearts of everyone who sees you. One of our friends referred to you as impossibly cute. I agree. Yesterday you laughed, giggled out loud at something we were doing and it was as if the world stopped for a moment and we held our breaths. Ask me about it, I will remember it till the grave.

The world will forever be in turmoil, sides will always bicker. If you get one thing from me I pray that it is hope. Hope that if we do our best, and give our best that it will always be enough. I hope for you that you are the best part of me.

Forever your Father,

Petrie

The Helmet and the flat

Anyone who has had any personal time with the little m. will know that she has a flat head. There I said it, her head is flat. Anyone who has had any personal time with me may understand why I would like to do everything in my power to ensure that she has every chance at a nice little round head.

I know what your saying oh she is so cute it's really not necessary etc. etc. Thank you, your right she is lovely! Yup were still doing it.

So the process to correct the flatness will require three months in a helmet for 21 hours a day. It's a cute helmet, got little butterflies on it and everything. we will have a ton of pictures for you to enjoy.... I said enjoy laugh with not at. I know who you are.....

Well, I don't have pics right now but we will be sure to keep you updated with the before during and after. Plagiocephaly as the Dr calls it is fairly common these days, even an epidemic according to one smart Doc.... My dad! It has become an epidemic due to the risk of SIDS and the need to keep kids on there back to sleep.

So make sure you tell her how nice she looks in her helmet!

Home

So I am tempted to give you a nice long post with all the newest and greatest, but I learned in my recent stint away that I should break em down and keep you the two readers I have interested and not overwhelmed. So you will get four or five posts in the next two days, YIPPEE!

So here I am home again. How wonderful to see the Little M. and Trixie again. I pulled into my driveway after the three months away and the 10 hour drive home. I had to park 9 feet up from the end of the driveway because that's where the plow was blocking the driveway. When I pulled away in late March that's how much of the driveway the Snow mountain had overtaken.

Anyway I pulled into the driveway and the first thing I saw waiting for me in her stroller was the very big baby M. The effect was a little startling. I had just seen her in person not three weeks ago, but here was a very big and attentive smiling baby. Well everything was wonderful that night there was giggling and smiles, cuddling, and playing. All things in the world were good again and I had the happiest baby in the world. So, everybody is happy and off to bed. I, thanks to Trixie slept like a man who has slept in a tiny little bunk bed for three months and is just meeting a king sized bed for the first time.

Then there was morning... "wait you were up every hour after midnight?"

"Who's demon child is this and what do you mean your going to work?!?!"

Then began our day together. It was nice she didn't want to be put down but it would be nice to have a free hand. Finally about noon when the green snot faucet was working and the feeding was not, Trixie mandated I bring the little M. to the Dr's office.

Dr said she's fine..... Yeah she sure is. So daddy's out of practice forgot the little thing called a diaper bag. Who wants to get changed have a snack and a toy to play with? Daddy does at the very least. So yeah she's fine.

Well nobody died that day but people were tested perhaps some feelings got hurt, who can say. What I can say is that two little teeth down there on her little gums were suddenly where they were not. And suddenly after two days our baby returned.

Even with all that said I am happy to be home. I am happy to have traded my big green duffel bag back in for a Baby Bjorne (yup spelled it wrong on purpose)

So what I want to close with is this. We are dealers in words and I use them as well as the next guy. We typically know what to say to people to make them feel better to hurt them and yes, to sometimes manipulate them. So sometimes the words seem not enough, so I can't help but not want to use them. In particular when it comes to Trixie and how she dealt with my absence and how she cared for protected and provided for my one and only child. She had help to be sure, which she also had to organize and task. I hope there is a way for me to make her know how important it all really is to me.

It's a shifting of weight. She has the baby squarely on her shoulders like Atlas had the world. I am standing here nudging my way in and for the most part she is giving me my fair share, but I can feel her not wanting to let go. Not all together ready to share the full load. And I so get that, I love it, it's how it should be. So I will stand close and take my shared share and just keep being there.